The Discipline of Grace by Jerry Bridges

The following post is based on Chapter 8 of the book The Discipline of Grace by Jerry Bridges.  The ladies class I attend on Sunday morning was studying grace and used this book as a guide to limit the scope of the study and to help keep the course to the normal 12 week (give or take a week) duration.  I volunteered to teach Chapter 8.  Not being a natural teacher I find the audience full of grace, encouragement, and just a great place to push myself beyond my comfort zone.  Following are a few of my notes.

Chapter 8 - DEPENDENT DISCIPLINE

Visualize and aircraft as though you were looking down on it from above.  You see the passenger compartment where you are sitting, two wings, and a tail assembly.  As you look at the wings you see the word “Dependence” on the left wing and “Discipline” on the right wing.  Just as an airplane must have both wings to fly we also must exercise both discipline and dependence in the pursuit of holiness.

Discipline:  Activities designed to train a person in a particular skill.

1 Tim 4:7 - Paul urges Timothy to train himself, or discipline himself, to be holy.  Here the word “Train” is a term borrowed from the realm of athletics.  First used to train young athletes for the games of the day; later included both mental and moral training.  Paul uses in reference to spiritual training.  NOTE:  Paul tells Timothy to train himself.

In chapter 5 we considered God’s discipline of us.  His spiritual child-training.  Now we will be looking at the discipline of self, the responsibilities we must shoulder to pursue holiness.

The point of the airplane illustration is that we must not try to carry out our responsibilities in our own strength and willpower.  We must depend on the Holy Spirit to enable us.  At the same time we must not assume that we have no responsibility simply because we are dependent.  God enables us to work, but He does not do the work for us.

Psalms 127:1 - Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain.  Unless the Lord watched over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain.

Nehemiah received threats when rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem.  :Nehemiah 4:9 - “But we prayed to our God and posted a guard day & night to meet this threat”

There is not a single instance in the New Testament teaching on holiness where we are taught to depend on the Holy Spirit without a corresponding exercise of discipline on our part.

Phillipians 4:11-13 - Paul said he had “learned” to be content.  He recognized his responsibility to be content, and that he needed to grow in that area of life.  He did not depend on the Lord to bring the growth, he worked at it.  At the same time he knew he could on be content only through the Lord, who gave him strength.

Colossian 1:28-29 - . . . struggling with all His energy, which so powerfully works in me.”

Passive Approach - (faith approach) Some feel this is a more spiritual approach.  Summed up:  Man’s part is to trust: God’s part is to Work.”

Expression - “Let the Lord live His life through me.”  (use me for His purposes) seems passive.  Better:  As I depend on Him, He enables me to live a life pleasing to Him.

Psalmist, Nehemiah, & Paul ‘s view would seem to be:  “Man’s part is to trust & work, but to do so in reliance upon God to enable us to work and be successful.”

Every moral imperative in the Bible addresses itself to our responsibility to discipline ourselves unto godliness.  We are to love one another, we are to put to death the misdeeds of the flesh; we are to put off the old man and put on the new man.  If we are to make any progress in our pursuit of holiness we must assume our responsibility to discipline or train ourselves.

 

PART 2 next time. 

Happiness, a bad word ?

The women in the Sunday morning Ladies Class I attend give each other a lot of support just in that short hour we have together.  During the discussions we share our lives, past and present, as it relates to whatever the topic is that day.

What has remained in my mind from a recent class is not the actual comment that was made but a side comment.  The woman was making a comment and in trying to communicate her thought used the word “happy” as a descriptive and then immediately corrected herself, under her breath, saying “Well that is not a good word” and went on to quickly re-phrase.  My immediate knee-jerk reaction was to blurt out “Yes it is.  It is a good word!”.  I sat quietly through the rest of her comment and then shared something that has been on my heart off and on for about 10 years now. 

It is my belief that "leadership" has been so intent on squelching any attempt to promote the idea that “God wants me to be happy even if my choices are not in accordance with His will.” that they have vilified the word “happy”.  This bothers me immensely. 

The wording may not be exact “God does not care if you are happy.”,  “God does not promise you happiness.”, during one of the lowest times of my life a statement along this line was made to me.  These statements are internalized by those dealing with hardship as “I’m not supposed to be happy.”,  "If I’m happy I am experiencing something not of God.”, “ I will never experience happiness again as a part of my walk with God because God doesn’t care or want me to be happy.”  I was afraid to use the word "happy" because I would be quickly and firmly corrected by someone parroting the same notion that if you are happy you are living in the world or doing something sinful.

Instead I believe that God does want us to be happy.  He does not guarantee happiness for those whose lives are lived outside of a relationship with Him or outside His will for our lives and lifestyles.  Any happiness in these latter situations is an illusion, a worldly happiness, used by Satan to keep up a deception that we are okay to continue in sin. 

It has taken me a long time to find other words to express what I was trying to communicate when I made the mistake of saying "I’m not happy."  Consider this statement instead, “I am deeply disturbed in my soul.” Or  “I am grieving, frightened, or deeply confused about something.”

So what was my comment?  In Galatians 5:22-23 Paul is inspired to write, “But the fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control.  Against such things there is no law.”(NIV)   If I am living in a right relationship with God, with the Spirit living in me so that I am developing, growing in, experiencing these Spirit fruits in my life then guess what.  I am happy.  It is obvious to me that God tells us through the inspired scripture how to be truly happy and that is as an obedient child of His striving to grow in Spirit and Truth. 

In Philippians 4:12 Paul again shares.  (NIV) –“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” 

NCV - "I know how to live when I am poor, and I know how to live when I have plenty. I have learned the secret of being happy at any time in everything that happens, when I have enough to eat and when I go hungry, when I have more than I need and when I do not have enough."

There are many translations that use words other than “content” and “happy”.  My point is that before we start telling people experiencing some of the harshest trials of their life that “God doesn’t care if you are happy” we should find out what their definition of happiness is.  If we cannot be certain that they are living outside of God grace and they start talking about not being happy maybe our first reaction should be to ask them what they mean by "not happy" or "Why do you think/feel you are not happy?" in a effort to really hear and understand what they are saying rather than tell them that God does not care about the grief and pain they are experiencing.

Words . . . I truly dislike when we try to use words against people instead of trying to understand their message.  Even in the best of circumstances I often stumble over my words, especially the spoken word.  When under extreme stress it is very likely there may be a bad choice of words by anyone.  Please do not squelch hope of those struggling.  

We should demonstrate our faith and love to those in distress.  We should be moved to encourage them.  We should help them.  We should try to instill hope.  Treat others as you would want to be treated.  That is in the bible, right?  God’s bosom is a place of comfort and safety in times of trouble.  His church should be the same.  If something comes to light that needs to be dealt with then address it.  Otherwise, we should try to refrain from dragging our own baggage in to the situation.

Ephesians 4:14-16 - Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. ¹⁵ Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of Him who is the head, that is, Christ. ¹⁶ From Him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.

I Corinthians 13:1-8a  ¹If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ²If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. ⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. ⁸Love never fails.

We are to speak the truth in love.  God’s love always protects, trusts, hopes, and preserves . . . it never fails.  These should be the characteristics reflecteed by those who are trying to help another navigate through a tragedy. 

One of My Favorite Things

I got to do one of my favorite things Sunday. . . sing with my friends.  It has been way too long.  I hope it will not be so long before we are able to do it again.  I almost cried as I left because it just felt do good to have been able to share our love for God our Father, our awareness of our human failings, how overwhelming it is to acknowledge that God knows all about the darkness within me even before I was born and yet He, the Son and the Holy Spirit secure my eventual salvation as long as I maintain faith and in spite of my unworthiness.   Like I said it had been much too long .  :-)

Transition - This World Is Not My Home

Every day seems to have an element of transition to me; transitioning from sleep to wakefulness, transitioning from home to work and back again, transitioning from one train of thought, or task, to another. As I age these transitions seem more obvious. I struggle to remember what I was going to say, names of people I should know, even what it was I wanted to pick up at the store. I am more aware of the decay of this earthen vessel my spirit and soul use. 

Opportunities for activities I enjoyed change or go away. The lives of friends I love dearly transition in ways that may not include me to the same degree as in the past. Many of these transitions have an element of sadness and bring tears to my eyes when I think about them.

Last month marked one year since my father passed. My mother was recovering from a “should have been fatal” wreck.  I helped Gus, my dearest pet friend of almost 20 years, depart this life. My supervisor lost his mom in that time period and his mother-in-law this past November. The mother of my former mother-in-law (who I love very much) passed away. Several of the “elders” from my childhood neighborhood have passed on over the last year and it seems almost weekly an email or two comes out about a co-worker losing a family member. I am more aware of the transitory nature of the earthly world we live in.   The perfect, non-perishable home ahead is where I must focus.  Not on the pain and decay of this one.  

I am challenged to live and love well through it all. 

Why do we "go to church” anyway?

To take the Lord’s Supper in remembrance of Christ’s suffering and sacrifice for the sins of all mankind. (Matthew 26:26-29, Mark 14:22-25, Luke 22:14-20)

To sing. (Ephesians 5:15-21)

To encourage and build each other up (Hebrews 10:23-25)

To establish a group of people with like beliefs to teach and hold each other accountable (2 Timothy 4:1-3)

To love one another and take care of each other when we have need. (Romans 12:9-13, Philippians 2:3-5)

To show God’s love to our neighbors. (Matthew 22:37-49)

The heart that we do all these things with is our worship to God.  If our heart is right our worship will be an example to non-believers and bring glory to God.  We will be a light in the darkness that draws those seeking light to Him. (Philippians 2:14-16)

This is not an exhaustive list by any means, most notably missing is seeking and saving the lost, the “Great Commission”. (Mark 16:15)  This is not to minimize the importance of this command or anything else not mentioned.  These were on my heart today.  I will be looking at each of these separately in more detail in the future. God bless and keep you all in the palm of His hand.  May His light always shine upon you and may you reflect it to a lost and dying world all to the glory of God.

Lord, Please Help Me Understand.

We grieve loss.  There are many ways to experience loss.  The most commonly recognized is the loss of a loved one, family or friend.  What if someone, or a group, that your love and felt safe with all the sudden found no value in your talent, or gift?   My sister Lisa and many other women at my home congregation have experienced all of these losses.

Individuals that have lost a limb, use of a limb(s), sight, hearing, speech or some other disfigurement grieve the loss because they no longer are who they were before.  Their perception is that what they lost made them who they were.  Loss of a spouse in death or by divorce is much the same feeling.   Who am I now that I am not Mrs. --------- or Mr. -------- husband of --------- .  Now I wonder who I am if I can no longer verbalize a prayer even in the smallist gathering of my church family? 

It knocks the breath out of me to suddenly realize there are those who are offended simply by hearing me pray.  It can be a beautiful prayer.  The communication verbalized may be exactly what is on the offended person’s heart but because I said it within their hearing they were offended.  How can that be?  How can a Christian be offended or threatened by hearing another bare their heart to God? 

What if I’m offended by their prejudice?  We have no trouble working up some righteous indignation because we cannot pray in schools, at ball games, or display the Ten Commandments in our courtrooms.  Yet there are those in our own church that would discourage a fellow Christian from praying during an open time of sharing based on gender.  Somehow this threatens them as leaders?  I guess I was foolish to expect them to want to know my heart.  If our leadership can be so easily threatened what does that mean for the future of the church? 

I can work outside the home.  I can, and have,  served in the military.  I could be a Christian brother's boss or exert influence over them at work but I can’t verbally participate in a prayer time opened to anyone who wants to pray.  Isn't my whole life a service to God?  I hate to use the old cliche "Times have changed.".  It is true though.  Just like wearing hats and only dresses to church. 

So as Christians how do we know when it is time to stand up and press an issue and when we should yield to another?  I guess that is the real question.   For a woman, especially one that grew up wearing hats to church and only dresses, this is a particularly distressing question.  Is it a conscience issue? For some it is.  Those that submit out of love, are they stronger or weaker?  How do we know if we are just going along or making a conscious decision to forgive and allow time for God to work?  Is God saying that it is not time for change or that this change is not within His will or is this a test of some sort?  The tempest is raging.  I will try to find the peaceful shelter my Lord has provided, pray for the storm to pass quickly and for all to be made clear.

Matthew 18:1-4

 ¹ At that time the disciples came to Jesus and said, “Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”  ² And He called a child to Himself and set him in their midst, ³ and said, “Truly I say to you, unless you are turned and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. ⁴ Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.  (NASB)

Children pray together without thought to gender.  Why can’t we?  I just don't understand.  Lord, please help me understand.



Can We Pray Together?

Women praying in front of men, is it okay or not . . . .hummm, . .  let me think about this for a minute.  I’m pretty sure I have some questions.

Can a Christian woman pray with her husband without threatening his authority in the home?  Can I share what is on my heart with my husband even if he hasn’t asked?  Can I read the bible to him out loud?  Where 2 or more are gathered in my name . . . ,right?  Is it a worship service?

If a family has a devotional can a woman pray or otherwise participate?  What constitutes a “family” devotional?   Just immediate family; or, does that include extended family?  If we say okay to women fully participating in their family devotionals, including extended family, how is the extended family defined?  Is it only blood relatives; or, can I really consider my brothers and sisters in Christ part of my extended family?  If I can then does it matter where that family devotional takes place, home, work, the mall, the church building? If a gathering has been referred to as a devotional why would not be a devotional because a female was asked to participate and did?

Okay, let us move away from the family devotional questions for a minute.  What about a bible class?  If men are in a bible class does that mean a female is not allowed to participate?  If we say yes she can actively participate in a bible class then how is participation defined “for a woman” and who defines it?  If we say that female participation is limited to comments and a teacher decides, during their class, to have a designated time for prayer and opens it for anyone in the class to pray does that mean anyone but females?  If we say that now women are not allowed to participate/pray in a bible class, was it wrong in the past when male teachers said “We are going to just start a prayer and anyone that wants to pray just start in when you think the one before has finished.  Any woman who is comfortable with praying feel free. Joe will you finish it up when you think everyone is finished or time runs out.”?  Does the size of the bible class make a difference?

How can a female Christian usurp a male Christian’s authority by talking or praying when a male Christian has requested or allowed her to participate in that way?  If a female opens her heart to pray or share does that mean she is trying to impose her will on the men or can we consider that she may want to bring those around her closer by giving them a glimpse in to her heart or maybe even to seek guidance?  If we say a woman can share as long as it is presented by her husband or another Christian man in the class or devotional, are they still indirectly imposing their will over the other males in the group?  Are we saying that because the sharing was filtered through a male brain cleanses it someway making it more appropriate? 

Should women go back to covering their heads in church?  What about slacks worn by women in church?  I was not allowed to wear a pair of pants with a zipper in the front growing up because it somehow was a challenge to male leadership.  Do we go back to that?  Do we tell our female teens and college students they can no longer actively participate in class, except for singing and silent prayer?  After all we aren’t talking about putting a woman in the pulpit, or at the Lord’s table, leading singing, prayer or reading scripture in a formal Sunday congregational service.  That would not be honoring our parents and other seniors.   It would not be putting others needs above our own.  Will there ever be a day when these things won’t be offensive to someone?  Only God can answer that.  Does this mean a church can or would segregate classes, services, ect. by male and female? 

Are not all members of the body equally important?  Should a one talent Christian be looked down on by the multi-talented Christian?  Does method of communication, written or verbal, change the purity of the message?  The bible is the written Word of God.  There is none other like it but still if a Christian’s talent is writing and they choose to write and then read what they wrote to other Christians, why would another Christian consider that sharing any less pure of heart?  What about those that write the songs that we praise God with and encourage and uplift each other, are the writers less committed to the Lord because they took great pains to write and compose a beautiful song?  Who can know a man or woman’s heart but the Lord? 

Well, I better stop . . . for the moment anyway.  I have a lot of questions as you can see.  My questions cover a wide range of topics. 

Dear Lord, please bless all Christians everywhere with the strength to persevere in their struggle to remain faithful so they may receive the gift of life in the end.   Let us not be easily persuaded to abandon our convictions.  Help us to receive correction humbly.  Give us the wisdom to discern Your will and make sound choices.  Not only sound choices for ourselves and our families, help us make sound choices with regard to Your church.  We love You and praise You with all our hearts.  May our lives bring glory to You always.  In Jesus name, amen.

 Stand for Him brothers and sisters, just stand.

“Purer in heart O God help me to be . . . .”